Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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