We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
