i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
