Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize