We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
