He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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