That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize