i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
