She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
