Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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