His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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