Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
