so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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