we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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