): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
