oh god the rape fog is back!
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
