Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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