Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
