I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm getting married
To pizza
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
