After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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