Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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