you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You dont lie about slip and slides
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
