Don't you send me to vm
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
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I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
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Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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