im six kinds of drunk right now
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
