we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize