we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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