I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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