Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
