Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
