Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
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When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
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Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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