Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
