i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
