The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Randomize
