Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
