We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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