I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize