I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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