They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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