In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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