As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Two words: blizzard sex
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
