I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
