I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
