Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
