I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize