where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
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small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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