im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You are a genius and a whore.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
