Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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