After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
