I can't watch pbs sober anymore
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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