Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize