The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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