I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
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