3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I have demons in me.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
