Im at strip club and am horny
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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