I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Too much gin, very little bucket
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
