I have demons in me.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
