dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
