I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
