So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
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my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
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I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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