i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
