Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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